Why I Decided to Write
The research world, and the world in general, is filled with highly accomplished people. When I was starting out, like many others, I would see all the big names and incredible profiles and immediately think, “I can never be that. I’m already late to whatever competition this is.” It took me time to understand that a personal website shows very little of the life behind it: the opportunities someone had, the things they had access to, and the path that brought them there. Every trajectory is different, and the best I can do is focus on mine.
That sounds obvious, but it was especially hard for someone like me, who learned relatively very late (and is still learning) what doing research means and actually involves. Coming from a less traditional research background, I have often felt inferior. What has always helped, though, is my innate drive to try things simply because I am curious. I might not be the best researcher (and probably never will be), but I can at least try. The worst that can happen is that I spend a few years learning something, take whatever knowledge transfers, and go back to what I already know I am good at. Something else I learned late is to be proud of what I have achieved, however insignificant it may seem beside the accomplishments of people around me, while staying humble enough to keep learning even when I feel dumb. I hope that sharing my process, however ordinary it is, can give someone else the kind of starting point I used to look for.
That is also why I want to document what I’m learning. I’ve done many random things, and I’m already starting to forget some of them; the brain simply cannot store everything. Sometimes something comes up in a conversation with friends, and I realize I don’t remember it at all. I also tend to try to memorize every single thing, so perhaps my brain has simply decided to forget everything instead!
I’ve always enjoyed writing, but I often held back because I tend to talk about many different things at once and the ideas get mixed up. Other times, the topic seemed like something everybody already knew, or there were already many better articles about it. For example, how to apply to Ph.D. programs. Having an LLM feels a little like having a personal coach: it helps me organize what I mean without taking away the reason I wanted to write it.
So I’ve decided to write whenever I feel like it; it is probably better than simply scrolling through Instagram. I also once read that writing slows communication down enough for you to notice whether you have provided the context, sequence, and reasoning another person needs. Repeatedly doing that may improve how you speak as well. I don’t know whether I’ll continue this for a long time, but for now, I enjoy having a place for these thoughts.